I have allowed the weakness in my trading to permeate through to the rest of the life. Poor trading results ate away at my motivation and I stopped going to the gym, I lost my interest in literature, and I started heavily snacking on junk food. In turn, the deterioration in body and mind has fuelled my trading insecurities, trapping me in a reinforcing loop of negativity.
Everything has clearly been upside down. I need to do what I can to promote a healthier state of mind. Following Rocko’s advice to take a break, I went back to the gym, but I found that I could barely do 10 minutes on the exercise bike before I was out of breath. It is a great barometer of my pathetic slide; before I stopped going to the gym I could cycle for 45-60 minutes at the same pace. Still, I feel a lot better for the effort and the fog of inescapable loss seems to have lifted a little. I feel I have a little more self-control.