Chance favoured my account this week, allowing it to grow by 25.5%. I do not expect this run of successes to continue without interruption.
The greatest perceived victory has been in my fight against a horrible trading addiction that has plagued me through the year. I’m still some distance from having the addiction tamed as I remain conscious of a tendency overtrade, but I feel I am making steady progress in my struggle.
That said, the majority of my trades have been profitable so my trading addiction hasn’t been given much of a chance to surface. I know the addiction will only be really be put to the test when I am faced with a significant loss. That will be the acid test: do I continue to trade in an effort to recoup the loss, potentially entering in to a downward spiral, or can I face the loss and walk away? I’d like to be able to say that I would definitely walk away, but I need the loss to test my constitution. I do feel a little stronger than before, and the world is looking a little less dark. I feel ready to be tested.
My biggest upset this week was that I wanted to score 9 or 10 out 10 for following my road map but I can only give myself a score of 7. Separate from the trading addiction, which remains the greatest threat to my survival, I continued to let the discretionary component of my trading approach erode a portion of my profit. I am tweaking my approach to further reduce to this discretionary component. This should help me to quarantine my emotions and become a more rational trader.
Given the leverage I am employing I know I am on tightrope. If I cannot consistently score 9’s or 10’s on my road map I also know this entire effort will be little more than an exercise in counting time until I blow up. I simply cannot afford to worsen my chances of ruin with behavioural deficiencies.