Time has run out for Caravaggio

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When I started this blog, I made the following commitment:

“I have imposed deadline on myself of 6 months (end April 2007). If I fail to recoup my original balance by the end of this time I will resign to the world of grey suits.”

Well, here we are, in April, and I am a long way off my break-even target of £18,000. I am in an unexpected place, however, because I expected either to have gone to ruin due to reckless risk taking, or to have succeeded in my goal. Instead, I am somewhere in the middle. At present, I feel I am on the right course in terms of my trading edge and the improvements on the behavioural side, but I do not think it is wise to continue to try and grind out a living with inadequate capital. Also, after two years of full-time trading, I am starting to feel as if the world is passing me by. 

I have already sent my resume out to a couple of employers, but it will probably be sometime before I find someone willing to take me on, because I will be seeking to start afresh in a new industry. I’m also working on a few projects of my own, which may or not come to fruition, but it’s all change and progress for the good.

I’m taking a break from trading next week, but after that I’ll continue trading to the end of April, and maybe beyond, and I’ll keep blogging about my journey, wherever it may take me.

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9 responses to “Time has run out for Caravaggio

  1. I believe this: What we focus on, we bring about in our lives. You were focusing on recouping a loss, which means you were focusing on losses. That brings about losses. You have to focus on what you truly want, which is prosperity. Try changing your focus when you get back to the desk.

  2. Focus on making 100k pounds and then go from there!! Ain’t no mountain high enough!!

  3. Never give up, you can never tell when your big break will occur !

  4. Thanks for the comments, people. I agree with your ‘positive thinking equals positive actions/consequences’ attitude David, and find that it applies in many aspects of life. In trading, however, I find my results deteriorate if I focus more on the potential output of positive trading than if I focus on the potential losses and the implications of these losses. That said, I would like to think that I am not focusing on the negative in a depressing way, but in way that is constructive and that should help my trading. In terms of my losses, I do not spend much time focusing on recouping my losses as I do on the potential future losses of my trading process. I would like to think that focusing on losses in this way doesn’t bring about more losses, but I may be wrong. In golf for example, thinking about missing a putt often produces a missed putt, and in this and other games, one’s performance is strongly positive correlated to how the player is perceiving the game. I believe trading is different in that provided one’s overall approach is positive, then I believe it can really pay to think about all the things that can go wrong, provided this is done in a rational, constructive manner. In sports, this tends not to work. But there many other examples (crisis management, product safety testing, etc) where thinking about the negative is constructive. I realise I may fall victim to the behavioural traps associated with the risk-averse individual, but I try to factor this in to my decision making, so I hope it isn’t having a detrimental impact on my trading. I am still learning.

    Misstrade and Banker – I welcome the encouragement, but I question how sustainable this is over the long-term. Edges do not last forever and as time passes, I believe it will become increasingly difficult to secure employment elsewhere. It’s all about capital: if I stood a reasonable chance of becoming financially independent I wouldn’t contemplate leaving trading – despite all my complaints, I love it or else I wouldn’t be doing it. But my deadline is approaching and I need to face up to the reality of my standing.

  5. A most fascinating blog and blogger have I stumbled upon this eve Mr. Caravaggio.

    I encourage you to tell your story to my audience. They need to hear this.

    Although I gave up FX trading for ER and ES trading over a year ago, I have some FX friends that I think you should meet.

    Please drop me a line and tune in tomorrow from 11am-1pm EDT.

    Blessings
    CT

  6. Thanks CT, I’ll try and find the time to tune in.

  7. Ah yes, a book deal. I’ve got part one nailed. It’s called “The demise”.

  8. Pingback: Week 23 FX trading results « the 3500

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